| Hey all. Well Sam asked me to post some pics of the girls so here are some I got done last month of them..They came out really cute!! I love them!     
So a little update. I am soo happy. I didn't think that I could ever be so happy. I love my life but in a couple weeks two huge parts of my life will be gone for a month or two. Lucas is comming to get the girls in June and they won't be back until August. I really don't know what Im going to do without my babies. They are my whole world. Without them I would be nothing. I hate that they have to go all the way to California with Lucas. I mean he has rights and he does want to be a dad so I can't deny him that but I want my babies!!!! I have NEVER been away from them for more than a night. I don't know how to live without them! I just know there is going to be a huge void in my life for 2 months! I don't let anyone see it but deep down inside this is all just killing me. I am the one that has ALWAYS taken care of them. I was the only one they knew while he was deployed. He's been gone most of their lives. I am their one solid parent who has always been there. What are they going to do when they don't have me. It's not like I'm just going to be a few hours away. Im going to be a few days away! And one expensive plane ticket away. How are they going to feel when they don't have me? How am I going to deal with them being gone? How am I going to be when I don't have them? Im just sitting here crying now. It's the first time I have said any of this to anyone. I don't know what Im going to do without them.. |
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| Well I thought it may be time for an update. Things are going good. My job is okay I just wish that I made more money but I can't really do anything about that until I finish night school this summer. I should start next month. Let's see....Ryan and I are doing soooo awesome. He is such a good guy. He's good with the girls and so sweet to me. We get along really well. I told Lucas lastnight about us and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Im so glad that he knows about him now. My step mom really wants to meet Ryan so we're going over there tomorrow for dinner. I have been working atleast thirty hours a week. Lucas is supposed to come next month and stay in Maine for a month then he wants to bring the girls to Cali for a month. Ariana will be starting Kindergarden in September!!! I can't believe it. It's so crazy!!! My lil girl is growing up. Hopefully I can get Xan enrolled in Head Start here. I know that she would love it. The school right down the road does K-2nd grade. When I went they did till 5th grade but now the other school on the other end of town does 3rd-5th I think which is weird but oh well. Even though we live so close to the school Ariana can take the bus which she's always wanted to do. Maybe I should get my license to be a bus driver. I already have my permit!!! Well I hope everyone is doing great. I know that I sure am. Oh yeah my divorce will be started soon i can't wait to get that over with!!!! Anyways yall take care! |
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| Hey yall. Nothing much is going on here. Things are still going great. I work a lot so I don't have much time on here. Hope everyone is doing great! Take care |
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| IM thinking of deleting this page. I don't get on much at all anymore. Mostly myspace well if u want to add me to myspace it's www.myspace.com/beth_rut |
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| Well I have my own apartment. I got a job today working back at Movie Gallery here. I loved it last time I worked there when Xantha was a baby. I walked in and said I need a job and my boss said your hired...lol. I get to get bumped up to Manager on Duty after I start working. Which is AWESOME!! I'll get my own keys to the store and everything! I can't believe it...Woo hoo..lol. Things are really looking good. It's amazing. Today was a pretty good day except for the girls. They tested my nerves a little bit today..lol. What can ya do tho. They know something else is going on and it won't be long befor I have to tell them. Anyways I just wanted to share the good news. I'll talk to you all later. Take care! |
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